The Curse of Self-Doubt
There have been multiple opportunities presented to Jim, but few he took a chance on due to fear of failure. You see, when Jim was a child multiple individuals informed him, he would not amount to anything; he experienced both verbal, and emotional abuse which leads him to second guess many decisions. He is obsessed with what others may think of him and likes to know the outcome of situations before deciding whether to partake in them. Jim likes the idea of playing it safe. He predominantly thinks things will not turn out well, and when things are good, he expects something negative to happen as he feels, “it always does”. You see, Jim was accepted into three universities, but decided not to attend college because he was afraid, he would fail or not finish, and others would talk about him. Later, he was granted an interview by a fortune 500 company and decided to turn down it down due to his perceptions of not being qualified enough and assumed that there were others with better qualifications and merits better than his. Seven years later he was able to buy his first home, however, he experienced cold feet, told himself he could never afford it, thus missing out on homeownership, and a lifetime childhood dream. Jim never approaches women due to fear of being turned down, and the females he is attracted to, he feels he is not in their league.
Have you met Jim, or know someone like him? Do you see similar actions or negative thoughts consuming your life and think of the worst outcome? On multiple occasions do you experience feelings of inadequacy? I am here to mention that self-doubt can be like a plague. The common denominator here is a negative thinking pattern. Such thinking can be debilitating, and many times we do not even realize we are doing this to ourselves. A main key to alter this mindset is to tell yourself, “I am not bringing past experiences into my future”. Tell yourself you are moving forward instead of staying behind. Consider being on a treadmill, looking at the screen, expecting to move, but not pressing any buttons, thus standing still. Believe that it can go, but you have to be the one to first press the button, then walk it out. Here's a key concept that you may have not paid much attention to…All living things grow. Many times past experiences along with guilt, shame, low self esteem and too much consideration of other’s opinions are able to take an individual’s future hostage. Tell yourself that your future belongs to you, and be adamant about this. A future can only be a future to those who believe in it. Here are 7 strategies to implement today to handle self-doubt.
Ask yourself, what does particular experiences mean to you. How are you affected by such experiences, and why do they matter?
Ask yourself, what does a positive outcome of this situation look like for me, and how would I feel about it?
Accept that you deserve positive outcomes
If I do not attempt this, can I see myself being disappointed years from now and possibly regretting this?
Should I be dissatisfied that I gave my best effort at something I truly wanted?
Stop asking others for validation. Trust yourself, live your truth, find it from within yourself.
Remember what you have already accomplished, know that your accomplishments are significant, and your future dreams are valuable as well.